Constructive Ways to Say a “No” to Your Child

In the journey of life, we all face moments of joy as well as disappointments. This brings us to the reality of facing an abundance of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in life too. Who likes to hear ‘no’ to their demands? Neither adults like it nor children. And yet, as parents, it is one of the important roles of parenting to make your child receptive towards ‘no’ in life. We at Delhi Public School Kota, one of the top 10 CBSE schools in Kota, understand how difficult it might often turn for parents to say no to their kids. However, we firmly believe that it is rather necessary to reinforce to children the importance of being open to yes as well as no.

Gretchen Rubin is known for her influential and thought-provoking contribution towards happiness and human nature. Some of her famous New York Times bestseller books include The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies, and Life in Five Senses. Her below quote sums up the parenting lesson:

“Say ‘NO’ only when it really matters. Wear a bright red shirt with bright orange shorts? Sure. Put water in the toy tea set? Okay. Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed? Fine.”  

So today, in this article below, we are sharing some practical and constructive ways for making children receptive to your “No’s.” Read on

 

  • Remain firm yet calm

A child will demand, and once you say no, they will also pester you to the best of their capabilities to have their demands fulfilled. It is important to stay with your no; you can share your explanation, but you do not need to repeat your decision or explanation multiple times. This makes the child learn that your no is final, and they will eventually stop attempting to shift your no into yes.

  • Communicate your disapproval clearly

There can be times when the child disapproves of your no and attempts to put forth his viewpoint for changing your decision. Once you are done with your part of communication and if the kid continues to argue or discuss the same matter, it is best to communicate with sophistication that, “I am not going to discuss this anymore.” Then, you can walk away from the scene and ensure not to respond through any verbal or non-verbal communication.

 

  • Set rules together

Children, being young, surely depends on you, their parents, for their needs. Hence one of the constructive ways is to spend time together when they are calm and relaxed and set the rules. At Delhi Public School Kota, we firmly believe that in most cases, the problem is not with do’s and don’ts but because the kids are not aware of the situations that call for a yes or no. It is hence very important that you set the rules that every family member has to abide by. If the child comments or suggests something over your rules, make sure that you give your ears to them. This enforces trust and helps in ensuring that the child chooses to stick to the rules without any fuss.

 

  • Teach them the basics of acceptable behavior

Many times, the kid may just be perturbed by the no. In such moments, they may not even know how to deal with their emotions and what to do at that time. As such, you can’t simply expect them to act wise. You have to teach them acceptable behavior for venting out their reactions.

 

  • Offer engagement in alternative activities

It is hard to accept no with grace. But, what should the child do when they face a no from parents? Talk to your child and set certain engagement activities the child can do alone to get over that disappointment and frustration. Spending some time alone with colors and drawing sheets, reading their favorite storybook, or engaging in some physical outdoor sports are some of them. Such activities will help divert their mind, and the child will be able to overcome emotions and become at ease.

 

  • Maintain a balance between your nods and refusals

It may sound funny, but too many yes’s or too many no’s can lead to damage of the same intensity. How often do you give in with a yes or inhibit the child’s wish with a no? Too many no’s will close their listening and influence their vision of the world. You, as parents, need to create a blend of yes’s and no’s.

 

Conclusion

Life will continue to be sometimes unpredictable and sometimes disappointing. The universal truth remains that it is hard to accept no as an answer and much harder for kids. We at Delhi Public School Kota, ranked among the top 10 CBSE schools in Kota, hope that the above constructive ways will give you some new strategies to use with your kids for their easy acceptance of your no’s.

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